So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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