Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
