Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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