Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
