help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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