JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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