So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
