I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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