i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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