why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
