Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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