we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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