I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wish my penis had a tongue
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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