Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
