yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
