I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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