dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
