I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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