No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
