Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
