So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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