Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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