We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
