I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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