For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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