I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
