well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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