what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
