If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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