do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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