So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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