you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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