he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
