epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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