He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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