At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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