Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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