yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
