ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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