If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
