I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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