We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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