bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The adults are the big ones right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
