Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
