What did we do last night that was yellow?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
