They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
