This is not my ceiling
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
