No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
