don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
