there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
